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Apr 7, 2018

I’ve been ruined by Long Long Man, the greatest love story ever told by Japanese gum commercials

As we all know, candy is an extremely important part of life. Chi-chan, the star of a series of commercials by Japanese gum company Sakeru that has utterly ravaged everything I thought I knew about life, believes this deeply. She and her boyfriend Tooru-san are huge fans of Sakeru Gummy, a line of “rippable” chewing gum that comes in both short and “looong” formats. The practical, down to earth Tooru-san prefers the smaller, more traditional size of gum. Unfortunately for him, however, Chi-chan’s desires are more... unconventional.

Over the years, many an American confection company has attempted to market comically large portions of chewing gum to youths. Indeed, many have done quite well; in the 1980s and ‘90s, Wrigley used Terry...

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